Learning a lot right now. I’d love to talk to anyone about it, but I’m not going to go into it here. Just wanted to share some thoughts/quotes from a Donald Miller book I re-read yesterday called “To Own A Dragon”. It’s about his growing up without a father.

“My spirituality, that is Christian spirituality, does not tell me to close my eyes and pretend life is beautiful and there are no problems to confront. I am told, instead, I am out of water, and finding water again will require a different kind of water. I am told something happened a long time ago and you and I and John and everybody else were washed up on the shore. We will have issues, we will have brokenness.”

“What I mean is, the folks in prison or who’ve made messes of their lives have truly made bad decisions, but what if they have made bad decisions because nobody taught them how to make good decisions?”

“The natural reaction to indifference is resistance, cynicism, bitterness, hurt, and so on, and without a father figure representing positive authority, all authority became suspect, and communication with the God-given guides became strained.”

“But as I’ve begun to process the consequences of growing up without a father, I’ve realized the incredible hole in my heart this absence has left. I wish my father and I had a friendship, and that he would call once every couple of weeks and tell me I was doing a good job. I hunger for this. I don’t actually like thinking about this stuff, but I have a sense that wounds don’t heal until you feel them. What I mean is, I could lash out against the world for the rest of my life and never stop to do the hard work of asking why I am angry or why I feel pain, then come to the difficult truth that the pain is there because I wanted to be loved, and I wasn’t. I wanted to be important to my father, but I wasn’t. I wanted to be guided, but I wasn’t. And then, honestly, to feel whatever it is that hard truth creates – to respond in the way I needed to respond.”


~ by wchandlerparker on June 18, 2010.

One Response to “Thoughts”

  1. loved to own a dragon. i wish i was as cool as donald… telling dudes to find their balls. awesome.

    hate that you have to hash out the dad stuff. it’s messy. but good for you for facing it, makes you better already.

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